The Girl in the Frumpy Dress with tears in her eyes

This post was borne out of a facebook post that I wrote, but that needed to be deleted because it had the potential to put Meg in an uncomfortable situation.

I wish I could remember exactly what I wrote on that post but the gist of it was sort of like this:

I adore this girl and enjoy watching her performances. This is her final play with this theater group as she ages out. I'm a little disappointed because we thought she'd get a starring role in her final performance but instead she got what I would consider one of her most insignificant roles. Unfortunately the directors tend to give all of the best roles to a select few performers, each of whom are no better or worse than Annie. It's a bittersweet end to a great run.

We've always told her that eventually she'll get a starring role, but that never really happened. The closest she has come to a starring role would be when she played a mother mouse who lost her son. She had a part in that play that brought me to tears. Then last play she was one of a group of 5 or 6 girls all named Jenny. They were the Jennys. It was a good part, but shared among a few girls, not a unique role. In previous plays she was one of several Dancing Tiggers (from winnie the pooh), and one of a few dancing hillbillies, and one of  several girls in wrapped boxes as dancing presents, and one of a handful of dancing Asian dressed narrators. All of this seemed fair and normal as she rose through her years and gained experience, which is really what it was all about, right? But it's my opinion that every child who signs up year after year ultimately deserves one "starring" type role". It's not like there weren't plenty to go around.

In the early days I always noticed it was the same 6 to 8 performers in the best roles, but had assumed it was because of a lack of fifth and sixth graders to have more than those 6 to 8 play the best parts. The reality was that there were twice as many fifth and sixth graders as there were starring roles, but they just favored those particular performers. Was it a coincidence that they were the children of some of the directors and stage volunteers? Or were they really the only ones who could pull off those "difficult" roles?

In the end I've been very proud of Annie's theater run and I appreciate that the program was there for her to join. I think the woman who runs the program does a great job as she basically writes each play, or rewrites it to work with the current cast. But in this final play Annies part was written in for her and adds nothing to the story. The entire story works without her part. And she got 12 lines, where her peers got 30 to 90 lines.

I'm able to see the flaws in my own child... in her dance performance years I would sometimes say "for such a sweet little girl, she dances like a drunk elephant." She's actually a good dancer these days, I specifically noticed it the other night at the play. While other's struggled with some of the moves, she not only hit all of the cues but she did it with flair and style. As she matures so do her performance skills.

When all of the girls got their parts Annie came home crying because it was so obvious that her part was a nothing burger. When all of the girls got their costumes, she came home crying because hers was so frumpy compared to the others. Okay, my girl can be a drama queen, not going to deny it. But she wasn't exactly wrong either. Although personally I kinda like her costume. When a woman involved with the back stage goings on noticed Annie was down she asked her what was up and Annie owned that she was disappointed with her costume. The woman made a comment that this part was written in to give her a part and she should be thankful.

So what... if they didn't add this part Annie would have just sat and watched? Fuck you lady... don't tell my kid something like that. What you were supposed to say is something like "oh really, I love that dress and I think you're going to look great in it." Don't kick the girl while she's down for christ sake.

I gave Annie permission to quit if she wanted to and despite the tears in her eyes she told me she didn't want to and that instead she wanted to be the best frumpy mother of two characters that didn't need her to exist in order to validate their parts this theater group has ever seen. Okay those are my words not hers but that was pretty much the message she gave me with her response. Just another reason for me to be proud of her.

She really has taken to the part and plays the best mutha farquing frumpy mother I've ever watched on the stage goddamit! Even with her measly 12 lines.

I'll see the show again Sunday afternoon. And when it's over she'll be crying and I will be too. She'll be crying because her theater run is over and the girls always cry on the last performance. I'll be crying because she's my baby and I adore her and I'm always touched by her performances, even in the days when she danced like a drunken elephant.